Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Self Portrait 1982



I've been suffering from painters block for the past ten days. Part of this has to do with working more hours at the day job and being too tired to tackle the art thing when I get home. I posted this old picture ( acrylic/canvas 18x22)because it always reminds me of how I've been dealing with this for a very long time now. I was twenty two when that portrait was done...a desk clerk at Caesar's in Atlantic City. I'm sitting on the couch in front of a mural I painted on the living room wall of my small apartment. The uniform,canvas and serious expression show the struggle of working a so called regular job while still trying to be an artist.
The rest of this (painters) block has to do with indecision, fear and self pity. I know these are part of the process and in the past 18 months I've gotten past these little funks pretty quick. This one is stretching out way too long though and I'm reminded of the times in the past when I quit for years because it was just too much trouble. I don't ever want that to happen again so perhaps posting this pic and writing about it will clear a channel.

4 comments:

Bart said...

Hope you can keep your calm Chuck, it is as you say probably very normal, even a sign of growth. Doesn't have to be the same as the earlier times it happened.
Seems to come at a natural moment, after the finishing of the sun-glass serie and the show.
I hope you can focus on the things in painting that give you joy (perhaps like when you bought the children-sunglasses "just because you had to") and find a way to fit them into your new scheme.
I don't know - maybe some relaxed pencil sketches done on the way home from work - just for the fun of it?

Chuck Law said...

Thankyou for your comment Bart.
You are right about this occuring at a natural moment. I'm thinking about new subjects to paint (the indecision part)after spending two months on the summer/beachy paintings.
The other reason (my pride kept me from writing this in the original post) is procrastination, which is of course a five syllable word for lazy:)
I had my sketchbook with me during a ferry ride 4 days ago...spent an hour walking around the boat....I just couldn't seem to find a thing worth drawing...that's what I find scary because there were countless sights and things worth recording. I know at this point what I need is simply to take action and stop thinking. Yet here I am hanging out in cyberspace.
hmmm.
...chuck

Chuck Law said...

I just wanted to add that while I'm not painting... I checked out Bart's Blog and Website. Nice work, Bart... The rock paintings are terrific!

Bart said...

:-) Thank you Chuck!

Somehow I don't really think that (for a moment) not doing what you like/love can have something to do with being lazy.
In fact it sounds good to me, spending time looking for subjects/inspiration, be it in cyberspace or around the ferry.
But I also think that you are indeed right in saying that - if that is what you want - just doing it (whatever it is) must be right.
In your situation I usually try to forget about results, previous plans, shows, critiques etc. and just do what I feel like. I am often surprised to find out later that these "just something" works are usually rather relevant.